if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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