fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
