Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize