i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
