Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
