Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Dicks are not precious.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
