Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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