I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
