I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
