in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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