You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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