I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my shit smells like andre
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
