she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
