so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
