so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
