Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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