I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
