i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
