that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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