I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
