I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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