I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
