Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
