oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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