Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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