Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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