and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
