I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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