there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
