At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
