last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
