You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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