i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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