I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
