i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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