You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Everclear isn't food dammit
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
