were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
