you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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