i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
