I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Houston, we have a squirter
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
