The maid of honor just puked.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
