3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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