I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Even my vagina gasped.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
