just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Pooping to opera.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
