went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
