She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
