I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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