you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize