I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
