Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
