we made out on top of his cat.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
