i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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