i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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