Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
