Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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