I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
