Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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