Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
