He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
