Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
