Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
