What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
