Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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