New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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