she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize