you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
