i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize