I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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