Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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