she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I love you. Go after that dick
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
