why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
