Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
