i jhust puked up my retainher.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's shark week go big or go home
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize