tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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