I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
