i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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