Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
