Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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